Archive | July 2014

Tips to Buying a Sex Toy with Your Lady

Whether you’re married or in a new relationship, there’s always room to spice up your sex life. But often times it’s easier in theory than in practice—especially if you’re looking to bring sex toys into the mix. “Some people are afraid of offending their partners, but this fear is mostly unfounded,” says Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D, a sexologist based in Toronto. “Research indicates that both men and women are comfortable “sharing” their partners with battery-powered devices.” So why not bring it up with your partner? Below, we’ve confronted all the awkward issues so you don’t have to. Here are seven tips for breaking the sex toy barrier.

1. Realize that it’s not uncommon. “The whole stigma that’s attached to sex toy stores is gone,” says Lora Somoza, a Los Angeles-based sex columnist, author and host of the weekly Between the Sheets radio show. “You need to know that whatever is giving you any hesitation in the first place is completely in your mind.”

2. Know how to approach the topic. Somoza suggests saying things to your partner such as, “I read somewhere that this is something women like,” or “Our relationship is great, but I want to think about ways to improve upon it. Is there anything you want to add to our sex life?” For those who prefer a more passive method, there’s nothing wrong with leaving a “surprise gift” on the bedside table to initiate intimacy—as long as you already have a gauge of your partner’s sentiments about it.

3. Buy online. If the thought of walking into a sex store gives you anxiety, try browsing for items online. “You can do it your PJs or birthday suit from the comfort of your living room,” recommends O’Reilly. “Check out online retailer, Ohhh Canada —my clients like them for their expertise and customer service.”

4. Do your research. If you’re ready to make your way to a sex shop but unsure of what to buy once you get there, plan ahead. “Read reviews online first, so you know what you’re looking for when you arrive in-store,” says O’Reilly. “I also suggest checking out one of your ‘sex-positive’ stores.” A sex-positive store has an open-minded attitude that emphasizes healthy and pleasurable sexual experimentation. Find one in your area through a simple Google search. “These shops are couple-friendly and their staff are also sex educators who welcome your questions and have reviewed many of the products themselves,” she says.

More Couples Are Bringing Toys to Bed

LELO-GigiSee what all the buzz is about

If you think sex toys are just for single ladies or bondage-loving Fifty Shades fans, think again: The majority of women are up for bringing sex toys to bed, according to a recent poll of Women’s Health readers.

In fact, in the survey, 75 percent of respondents said they’ve used one with a partner, and 60 percent say they’ve used one with the person they’re seeing now (or were with most recently). Even more women are up for giving one a try: Eighty-four percent said they’re open to the idea of using a sex toy as a couple.

If your sex life is feeling a little routine lately, bringing a toy to bed can help add a little something-something to your sex life, says Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist and author of She Comes First (consequently, he says he’s been seeing more and more couples experimenting with sex toys lately). “Whenever you introduce novelty into the bedroom, it stimulates dopamine activity—that plays a big role in sexual arousal and sexual excitement.”

This entry was posted on July 26, 2014, in For Couples.

Sex toys: tips and lessons to meet all your needs

Welcome, babes of toyland! This week we’ve worked together to bring you Sex Toyz 101: Happy Trail style. Dildos, vibrators, cock rings and, of course, the ubiquitous and ever-useful lube. Learn some lessons and remember the rules—always play naughty, and don’t always share. This ain’t your happy meal toy, sexy thing. These toys are going places (and in places, and up places, and over places…).

(And remember, if you want a sex toy but don’t want to go to a sex shop, try cityofeve.com. They ship in nondescript boxes so the mail room workers don’t find out about your new 10-inch dildo.)

Enjoy!

Vibrators and dildos

When you get a vibrator, you should take some time to think about what really feels good. A hands-on session can help you with that. When your hands are hanging out in your nether regions, even if you haven’t been able to bring yourself to orgasm, you can still take some deep breaths and use your fingers to explore what feels good.

Like to focus on your clit? Try a vibrator meant for clitoral stimulation. These are often the most inexpensive vibes, too—the basic model can be small, plastic, and power your play with just a AA battery or two. These one-setting beginner’s models are also great if you’re new to vibes and intimidated by the big dicks. I am not ashamed to admit that my first vibrator was a bright green caterpillar complete with little stimulation antennae and a silicone-stamped smile.

You can also graduate to multi-setting models, which can offer different strengths or tease you with different patterns—simpler start-and-stop rhythms, and more complex up-and-down waves. Personally, though, I’ve found that simple is best.

Like the feeling of the ol’ in-and-out? You probably have sensitive inner labia and vaginal opening. Vibration can bring this feeling to a whole ‘nother level. There are some great realistically sized vibes which will feel great entering you. You might want to go for length, as a longer vibe will give you better grip and maneuver and the ability to change vibration settings without stopping.